1
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:14,245
Oh! Good morning, Dr. Crane.
2
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,060
Not a morning person, are we?
3
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:18,650
Well, never you mind. I am.
4
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,586
Can't very well be a
good health-care provider
5
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:23,988
if you're not up with the cock.
6
00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:27,037
I've already taken your father
7
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,138
for his morning constitutional.
8
00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:31,162
Such a remarkable man.
9
00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:33,365
30 Years on the police force.
10
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,334
I can understand why
you'd want him to live here.
11
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:38,570
Although not many
sons would do that...
12
00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:40,616
Not without getting paid for it.
13
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,007
Anyway, coffee's made
14
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,676
and I took the liberty
of doing a shop.
15
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:48,012
They don't serve much
tripe in Seattle, do they?
16
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,216
And you are?
17
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,585
Daphne.
18
00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:55,899
Daphne Moon.
19
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,589
I moved in yesterday.
20
00:00:57,657 --> 00:00:59,402
You hired me to take
care of your father.
21
00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:00,358
Of course, of course.
22
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:01,726
You'll have to forgive me.
23
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:04,129
I'm not quite myself until
I've shaved and showered.
24
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,630
Oh, yes.
25
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,466
I completely understand
about one's morning ablutions.
26
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,095
I, for instance, just
can't stand meself
27
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:13,171
before I floss all that
gunk out of me teeth.
28
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,539
Miss Moon...
29
00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,142
for future reference
30
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:19,277
if you could just
keep your "ablutions"
31
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:20,678
on a need-to-know basis.
32
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:21,747
Thank you.
33
00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:23,315
Now my coffee.
34
00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:25,317
The half-and-half's curdled
35
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,319
and the garbage
disposal's jammed.
36
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:29,907
Oh, good morning
to you, too, Dad.
37
00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:31,957
Morning was two hours ago.
38
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:33,959
And close that barn door.
39
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:37,662
We got a lady in the house now.
40
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,431
Hey, this isn't my coffee.
41
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:42,434
Where's my finely-ground
Kenya blend from Starbucks?
42
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:43,669
That's it.
43
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:47,172
Daphne put an eggshell
and some allspice in it.
44
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,720
And didn't that
just dress it up.
45
00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,343
I like it.
46
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:53,611
Gives it a zing.
47
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,180
Now, come on, sit down.
48
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:56,648
Your breakfast is ready.
49
00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:57,749
Oh, no, Dad.
50
00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,229
Dad, look, all I ever have
51
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,786
is a bran muffin and
a touch of yogurt.
52
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:02,999
Ah, girlie food.
53
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,834
Besides, I already
fixed your breakfast.
54
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,169
Now, I made you eggs in a nest.
55
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:07,292
Ah, yes.
56
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:08,893
The Crane family specialty...
57
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,395
Fried eggs swimming in fat
58
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:14,132
served in a delightfully
hollowed-out piece of bread.
59
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,667
I can almost hear
60
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:18,904
my left ventricle
slamming shut as I speak.
61
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,917
You want cheese on that?
62
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:23,575
No. I'd like to leave
some blood flow
63
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,711
for the clot to go
swiftly to my brain.
64
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:31,649
Can't have my coffee.
65
00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,351
Can't have my breakfast.
66
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:37,222
Oh, dear God, it wasn't a dream.
67
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,659
I'll get him for this...
68
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,595
and his little dog, too.
69
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,003
Where is my paper?!
70
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,504
Who stole my paper?!
71
00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:55,340
Mrs. Everly, you old
bat, I know it's you!
72
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:56,419
Yoo-hoo!
73
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:57,508
It's right here.
74
00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,289
We brought it in for you.
75
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,612
Oh.
76
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,180
Sorry! Sorry!
77
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,283
Now, wait a minute.
78
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:06,996
This... Where's the rubber band?
79
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,753
This paper has been read.
80
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:09,822
Well, don't worry.
81
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,156
We won't tell you what's in it.
82
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,327
That is not the point.
83
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:16,439
Dad...
84
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:17,862
Dad...
85
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,476
Come and sit down,
please, will you?
86
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:20,565
You're going
87
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,334
to give a speech, aren't you?
88
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,113
Oh, that's right, I forgot.
89
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,337
You're psychic.
90
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:27,639
Yes, but I think
91
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,208
anyone could feel
this one coming on.
92
00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,377
Let us get something clear...
93
00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:34,545
I am not a morning person.
94
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:38,550
I have to ease
into my day slowly.
95
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:39,985
First, I have my coffee
96
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,486
sans eggshells
97
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,856
or anything else one tends
to pick out of the garbage.
98
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:50,062
Then, I have a low-fat,
high-fiber breakfast.
99
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,596
Finally, I sit down
100
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:54,166
and read a crisp, new newspaper.
101
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,633
If I am robbed
102
00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:58,170
of the richness of
my morning routine
103
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,705
I cannot function.
104
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,106
My radio show suffers
105
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,041
and, like ripples in a pond
106
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,577
so do the many listeners
that rely on my advice
107
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,779
to help them through
their troubled lives.
108
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:10,248
I'm sorry if this
may sound priggish
109
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:13,718
but I have grown comfortable
with this part of myself.
110
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,655
It is the magic that is me.
111
00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:21,159
Get used to it.
112
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:24,574
I know this is a stressful time
113
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,043
and this is new for all of us
114
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,511
but I'm sure that soon
115
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,680
we'll all be getting
along swimmingly.
116
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,549
Ooh, six more
weeks of winter I see.
117
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,172
Oh, dear God!
118
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:57,062
Down, Eddie, down.
119
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,066
I said "down."
120
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:04,147
Good boy, Eddie, just get down.
121
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,448
Good, good, good, Eddie.
122
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,404
Eddie, get down.
123
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,538
Get down!
124
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:10,176
Dad, Dad...
125
00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:12,043
I can't read my paper.
126
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,711
Eddie's staring at me!
127
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,414
Well, you do make quite
a picture in the morning.
128
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,051
Just ignore him.
129
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,129
I'm trying to.
130
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,854
I'm talking to the dog.
131
00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:41,506
Oh!
132
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,114
Don't even think about it!
133
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,921
You're listening to
Dr. Frasier Crane.
134
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,824
Our topic today is intrusion.
135
00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:04,896
Those who encroach on
our sense of personal space.
136
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,232
The neighbor who
plays his stereo too loud...
137
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,167
The person who sits next to you
138
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:10,601
in the movie theater
139
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:12,804
when there are 50
other vacant seats.
140
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,073
Now let's return to our calls
141
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:18,143
and let me remind you once more
142
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,246
that our topic
today is intrusion
143
00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:24,415
since so many of you
seem to be forgetting that.
144
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:27,919
Dr. Crane, we have Leonard
from Everett on line two.
145
00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:29,754
Hello, Leonard.
146
00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:30,922
I'm listening.
147
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:32,424
Oh, hi, Dr. Crane.
148
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:34,892
Uh... I'm a little
nervous, but, uh...
149
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:35,894
well, here it goes.
150
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,061
Um, several years ago
151
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,975
I became afraid of
large, open spaces.
152
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:43,434
Like, if I went to the mall,
I'd break out in a cold sweat.
153
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:46,137
I'd get so scared that
I'd have to run home.
154
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:49,407
Yes, Leonard, and your
comments on intrusion?
155
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,709
Nothing.
156
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:54,412
It's just that now I'm
afraid to go outside at all.
157
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:57,382
I haven't seen another
person in eight months.
158
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:59,551
Well, Leonard, it
sounds like you may have
159
00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:02,220
a very serious condition
known as agoraphobia.
160
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:03,888
But you're not alone.
161
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,624
But I am alone, Dr. Crane.
162
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,630
Listen, Leonard, I'm afraid
your problem is too difficult
163
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:14,677
to deal with in the
time we have remaining.
164
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,212
So, if you'll just
stay on the line
165
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,803
someone will give you the
name of a qualified therapist.
166
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:21,807
Well, that's all the
time we have for today.
167
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,242
You've been listening
to Dr. Frasier Crane.
168
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,211
KACL 780.
169
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,678
Stay tuned for the news.
170
00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:29,247
Then next up
171
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:33,251
Bob "Bulldog" Brisco and
the Gonzo Sports Show.
172
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,986
I never miss it.
173
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,487
Yeah, right.
174
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,559
You want your messages?
175
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,105
Oh, listen, Roz,
just hang on to them.
176
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,763
I think I'll stay in
here for a while.
177
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,031
Today, more than most
178
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,811
I feel an overwhelming
need for solitude.
179
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,435
I've got a fascinating book here
180
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:54,171
a comfortable chair
and a soundproof booth.
181
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,044
Hi, ya, doc.
182
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,211
How they hanging?
183
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,925
Bulldog, what are
you doing here?
184
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,015
We lost transmitter
link power in Studio C.
185
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,284
I got to do my show from here.
186
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:10,921
Hey...
187
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,435
where in the hell
is my Cosell tape?
188
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:14,225
Somebody stole my Cosell tape!
189
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,393
This stinks!
190
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:16,894
This is total BS!
191
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:18,729
This... oh, here it is.
192
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,911
Let me just get out of your way.
193
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,001
Oh, by the way, Doc...
194
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,402
Doc, I heard what you said
195
00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:27,739
to that kid who fantasizes
about killing his parents.
196
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:30,441
You know what I
would have told him?
197
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,776
Sports.
198
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:35,013
You go out there,
break some heads.
199
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,181
That will turn him around.
200
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:41,619
Yes. If only Jeffrey Dahmer
had picked up a squash racket.
201
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,633
Hey, where the hell's
my Lasorda tape?
202
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:44,856
This is total...!
203
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:46,124
Ah, got it.
204
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,592
Uh-uh... hold on a sec.
205
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,572
I have to ask you something.
206
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:53,565
Gary? I broke up with
him three weeks ago.
207
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,701
The sex was okay, but
he was kind of limited.
208
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:57,770
Maybe I should just...
209
00:08:57,837 --> 00:08:59,014
No, no.
210
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,783
It wasn't that Gary
was bad in bed.
211
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:02,618
I mean, he knew
where all the parts were.
212
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:04,909
Unfortunately, most
of them were his.
213
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,990
Yes, totally passionless.
214
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,615
It was like he was
thinking of someone else.
215
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,016
I know I was.
216
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:15,164
Somebody's here.
217
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,332
I got to go.
218
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:17,567
All right, I'll
talk to you later.
219
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:18,957
Bye, Mom.
220
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,393
That was your mother?
221
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,962
Yeah. Why?
222
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,396
You talk to your
mother like that?
223
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:26,898
Well, we're both adults.
224
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,411
We talk about everything.
225
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,534
Well, isn't that healthy.
226
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,448
What? You don't talk
to your dad like that?
227
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,505
Oh, hardly.
228
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,073
We hardly speak at all.
229
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:36,508
Really?
230
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,677
Yes, well, you know, we're
not really very similar people.
231
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:40,912
In fact...
232
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:43,848
my brother and I are a
lot more like my mother.
233
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,783
You know, if it wasn't
biologically impossible
234
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:49,854
I'd swear that Dad was dropped
in a basket on our doorstep.
235
00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:53,391
Hey, sweetcakes,
you seen my engineer?
236
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,505
I think someone's
talking to you, Frasier.
237
00:09:55,529 --> 00:09:56,672
Come on, come on, come on!
238
00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:58,095
Yes, he called
239
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,064
and he'll be right here.
240
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,600
So, do you want to
go across the street
241
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:05,203
and have one of those
expensive coffee drinks?
242
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,738
Maybe some other time.
243
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,273
Right now I'd like to
continue my quest for solitude.
244
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,254
To go someplace where
my father, Mary Poppins
245
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,846
and the hound from
hell can't find me.
246
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,215
I think maybe I'll just go
247
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,195
sit under the shade of a tree
248
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,459
and read in a quiet park.
249
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,025
Hello!
250
00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:33,765
Hello?
251
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,633
Dad?
252
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,336
Daphne?
253
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:40,772
Eddie?
254
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,510
Could it be?
255
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,138
♪ Toreador ♪
256
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,907
♪ Don't spit on the floor-a ♪
257
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,143
♪ Use the cuspidor-a ♪
258
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,679
♪ What do you
think it's for-a? ♪
259
00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:34,225
So the elephant says
260
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:36,026
"He's with me."
261
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,698
Oh, Dr. Crane, you're home.
262
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,468
We just got back from your
father's physical therapy.
263
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,802
Oh, glory be.
264
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,203
Oh, happy day.
265
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,183
Not that I'm not delighted
to see the two of you
266
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,742
it's just that I'm in the middle
of a very exciting chapter.
267
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:52,410
Oh, I understand.
268
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:53,956
So, why don't I
pop into the kitchen
269
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,358
and brew you up
a nice pot of tea.
270
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,525
No. I've just poured myself
271
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,482
a glass of wine. Thank you.
272
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,318
I see.
273
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:08,759
What are you reading?
274
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:12,096
Oh, Dad, you wouldn't
find it very interesting.
275
00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:13,998
I might. Any good?
276
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,045
Well, I haven't
formed an opinion yet.
277
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,604
Oddly enough, I'm having
a little trouble getting into it.
278
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,213
Thick.
279
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:32,449
Dad, will you...
280
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,496
listen, I don't want
to offend, but...
281
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,653
if you wouldn't
mind, could you just...
282
00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:38,890
leave me alone and
let me read my book?
283
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,239
No problem.
284
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,235
What are you doing?
285
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:52,169
I'm leaving you alone.
286
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:53,170
Well, it's very annoying!
287
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:54,706
Oh... what's your problem?
288
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,442
You've been sucking
a lemon all week.
289
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,321
All right, all right,
I'll tell you problem is
290
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,123
I can't get a moment's
peace in my own house.
291
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,613
Well, forgive me!
292
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:04,127
When you invited me to move in
293
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:05,583
I didn't realize
294
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,897
I had to stay chained to
the radiator in my room.
295
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,254
Perhaps only evenings.
296
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:10,566
I heard that.
297
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:11,522
Well, of course you heard it!
298
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:12,957
You're never out of earshot!
299
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,637
Ah, you know, you've
always been like this.
300
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:15,938
You were always
a fussy little kid
301
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,206
and it's gotten
worse ever since.
302
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,897
You and your precious
morning routine.
303
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,166
You got to have your coffee.
304
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,500
You got to have your quiet.
305
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,380
You got to have this,
you got to have that.
306
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,348
Well, aren't you the
little hothouse orchid!
307
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:27,805
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
308
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:30,174
I don't have to sit
here and listen to that!
309
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,687
If you want
everything so perfect
310
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,222
why don't you go
live in a bubble?
311
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:34,611
Oh, well, all right.
312
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,781
Right now it
sounds very inviting.
313
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:44,154
Finally a little peace
and quiet around here.
314
00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:54,164
Hello, there, Frasier.
315
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,767
Oh, what fresh hell is this?
316
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:03,306
Well, that's a nice way
to greet your brother.
317
00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:05,108
Caffe latte, per piacere.
318
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,112
I'm sorry, Niles
319
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,658
it's just that I've been
trying to read this book.
320
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,161
And it seems no matter
where I light, I get interrupted.
321
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:15,018
Oh, The Holotropic
Mind by Stanislav Grof.
322
00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:17,465
I love his conclusion that a
change in breathing patterns
323
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:19,267
can induce alternate
states of consciousness.
324
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:22,125
Great. Now you've
ruined the ending!
325
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:24,962
I'm sorry.
326
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,329
That was inconsiderate.
327
00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:27,831
Mille grazie.
328
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,238
So, how's Father?
329
00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:36,251
Father? You mean the
man who's driving me crazy.
330
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:38,654
The man who makes me dread
the sight of my very doorstep.
331
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,522
The man who just drove
me out of my own home.
332
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,480
And how's work?
333
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:47,284
Niles, I don't know
what I'm going to do.
334
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:49,286
Dad and I had another fight.
335
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:52,289
See, I'm afraid if we stay
under the same roof together
336
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,091
we'll do irreparable harm
337
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,994
to the relationship
we have as it is.
338
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,929
Well, what are the alternatives?
339
00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:00,975
Well, if I didn't feel so guilty
340
00:15:00,999 --> 00:15:04,334
I'd... I'd do what I should
have done in the first place:
341
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:08,172
just move Dad and Daphne
into their own apartment.
342
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,941
Oh, for goodness sake,
Frasier, it hasn't been that long.
343
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,510
You have to give it a chance.
344
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,723
And you might remember why
you moved him in in the first place.
345
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:15,946
Refresh me.
346
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,415
You wanted to get closer to Dad.
347
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,594
I still do.
348
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:20,962
There isn't
anything I'd like more
349
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,097
but he makes it impossible.
350
00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:23,054
I can't read my book.
351
00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:24,366
I can't have my coffee.
352
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,402
I can't have any
peace in my own home.
353
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,892
So, what you're saying is,
you want to be closer to Dad
354
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:30,760
but you don't actually
want him around.
355
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,402
Ask yourself, Frasier,
have you tried to sit down
356
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:39,736
and talk to him?
357
00:15:39,805 --> 00:15:41,539
I mean, really talk to him?
358
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,774
Well, I...
359
00:15:45,477 --> 00:15:48,278
Maybe I haven't done my best.
360
00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:53,049
I guess I owe that to
the old man, don't I?
361
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:56,854
Well, uh...
362
00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:58,889
Thanks for the chat, Niles.
363
00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:00,237
You're a good brother
364
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,459
and a credit to the
psychiatric profession.
365
00:16:02,527 --> 00:16:04,161
You're a good brother, too.
366
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,636
Daphne!
367
00:16:12,704 --> 00:16:14,638
What are my things doing here?
368
00:16:14,706 --> 00:16:17,241
My leather wing
chair, my Tisami lamp?
369
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,630
We're putting them in the
storage room in the basement.
370
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,423
There was no room
for them in your study
371
00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:22,658
once we got my furniture in.
372
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,959
We discussed it
last night, remember?
373
00:16:24,983 --> 00:16:26,116
Of course, of course.
374
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:27,518
I was just on my way
375
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:30,521
to ask that peculiar little
man from building services
376
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,888
to give me a hand moving them.
377
00:16:31,957 --> 00:16:32,990
Oh, yes. Kyle.
378
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:35,058
Well, give him my regards.
379
00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:36,393
Oh, yeah, remind me again...
380
00:16:36,461 --> 00:16:40,297
Which one of Kyle's eyes
is really looking at me?
381
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,867
The brown one.
382
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:56,613
Daphne left your dinner in
the fridge, if you're hungry.
383
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,616
Thanks, but
I'm... I'm not. Uh...
384
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,285
Dad...
385
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,921
Listen, I'm sorry about,
uh, the blowup earlier.
386
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,490
Ah, forget about it.
387
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,691
I already have.
388
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,193
You know, I guess it's no secret
389
00:17:09,261 --> 00:17:11,039
that there's been a lot
of tension between us.
390
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:12,730
And I think maybe
one of the reasons is
391
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,475
that we never have a
chance to sit down and talk
392
00:17:14,499 --> 00:17:17,835
and I... I thought we
might have a conversation.
393
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,103
Right now?
394
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:22,740
Yes, I think now
would be a good time.
395
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,742
Later would be better.
396
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:27,778
It doesn't have to be a
long, drawn-out conversation.
397
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,713
I'm talking about three
minutes of your life.
398
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,392
Well, I hope it only
is three minutes
399
00:17:31,416 --> 00:17:32,716
'cause my program's coming on.
400
00:17:32,784 --> 00:17:35,585
Well, if it will make
you any happier
401
00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:36,987
I'll get the egg timer
402
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,367
and I will set it
for three minutes.
403
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,791
So, what do you
want to talk about?
404
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:43,727
Well, the idea is for us to have
405
00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:46,663
a normal, honest conversation
just like two normal people
406
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,932
without getting on
each other's nerves.
407
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:53,670
All right, ready...
408
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,442
Go.
409
00:17:58,511 --> 00:17:59,977
This is stupid.
410
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,278
One second?
411
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:03,046
That's our personal best?
412
00:18:07,018 --> 00:18:10,354
Let us see if we can beat it.
413
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,624
Ready?
414
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:15,425
Go.
415
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,829
So, how about those Seahawks?
416
00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:20,698
No sports.
417
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:21,831
All right, no opera.
418
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:22,900
Agreed.
419
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:28,638
Ready?
420
00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:30,274
Go.
421
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:33,978
This is your idea.
422
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,545
You say something first.
423
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,314
All right. All right.
424
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,983
I'll-I'll tell you
something about myself
425
00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:41,985
that, uh, you don't know.
426
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,587
Uh, six months ago
427
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:48,158
when Lilith and I
were really on the rocks
428
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:51,595
uh... there was a time of
depression I went through
429
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:54,231
that was so
terrible, I actually...
430
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,299
climbed out on a ledge
431
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:59,035
and wondered if
life was worth living.
432
00:18:59,104 --> 00:19:01,938
And... then I...
433
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,508
I thought of Frederick.
434
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:07,610
And you didn't jump, huh?
435
00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:14,084
Good, Dad.
436
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:17,120
Wow, I never knew that.
437
00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,723
That's the point of
this whole experiment...
438
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,091
To... to tell one another
439
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:23,426
something that we don't
know about each other...
440
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,561
Something vulnerable.
441
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,229
Now it's your turn.
442
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:29,299
Okay.
443
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,868
Well, about two months ago
444
00:19:31,937 --> 00:19:33,047
I was in the basement
445
00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:34,282
going through some old pictures
446
00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:35,550
of your mother and me
447
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:39,609
and all of a sudden
something flew up in my eye.
448
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,918
And when I was
trying to get it out
449
00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:45,148
I realized that I could
turn my eyelid inside out
450
00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:46,850
the way kids do at camp.
451
00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:48,986
That's it?
452
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,687
You call that vulnerable?
453
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:51,822
It hurt!
454
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:55,125
I'm not talking about
that kind of pain!
455
00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:58,328
I'm talking about your
emotions, your soul!
456
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,531
Some sort of painful,
gut-wrenching experience!
457
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,133
Other than this one?
458
00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:04,379
Oh, God... always a flip answer.
459
00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:06,180
Well, this whole thing's stupid.
460
00:20:06,204 --> 00:20:07,738
Well, not to me.
461
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:10,340
Oh, how should I expect
anything out of you?
462
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:13,343
You are the most cold,
intractable, unapproachable
463
00:20:13,411 --> 00:20:16,013
distant, stubborn, cold
man I've ever known.
464
00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:17,758
You said "cold"
twice, Mr. Egghead.
465
00:20:17,782 --> 00:20:18,848
Egghead! Egghead!
466
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,683
You said "egghead" twice, too!
467
00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:22,318
Oh, you are so infuriating!
468
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,032
Well, you're no day
at the beach, either.
469
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,066
You know what you are?
470
00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:27,591
I'll tell you later.
471
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,980
It's time for my program.
472
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:36,266
Dad, I don't think you
see how serious this is.
473
00:20:36,334 --> 00:20:37,901
Oh, will you give it a rest?
474
00:20:37,969 --> 00:20:39,280
Look, we're not getting along
475
00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:42,706
and it's not getting any better.
476
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:46,443
I'm not sure how
to say this, but, uh...
477
00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:47,577
I, uh...
478
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,715
I'm afraid I'm
going to have to...
479
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:52,994
I know what
you're trying to say.
480
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:54,362
You want what's
best for both of us.
481
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:56,854
You want to get me out of here
482
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,122
then you can have your own space
483
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:00,457
and I'll have my own space
484
00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,303
and we can put an
end to all this bickering.
485
00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:03,594
Well, yes.
486
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:06,663
I guess it wasn't so
hard to say, after all.
487
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,131
Except for one thing.
488
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,432
I'm not going.
489
00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:10,567
What?
490
00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:12,002
Look, you want us to forge
491
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,870
some great father-son
relationship...
492
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,338
to make some connection.
493
00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:17,708
Well, that kind of thing
takes a couple of years
494
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,375
not a couple of
days, doesn't it?
495
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:20,444
You're the shrink.
496
00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:23,347
A couple of years, huh?
497
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,382
Ah, it'll go by
before you know it.
498
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:29,887
Either that, or it will
seem like eternity.
499
00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:38,895
I'm willing to give
it a shot if you are.
500
00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:41,965
Okay.
501
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,233
Great.
502
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,213
How about you and me
having a beer together?
503
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:46,369
Wow.
504
00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:47,816
You know, in all these years
505
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,320
you've never asked me that.
506
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,743
I'd love to have a
beer with you, Dad.
507
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:53,921
Well, then, you better haul ass
508
00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:55,223
'cause the store
closes in ten minutes.
509
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:56,747
Right.
510
00:21:56,815 --> 00:22:00,050
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
511
00:22:03,188 --> 00:22:05,456
♪ Hey, baby, I hear
the blues a'callin' ♪
512
00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:09,159
♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
513
00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:10,594
♪ Mercy ♪
514
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,623
♪ And maybe I
seem a bit confused ♪
515
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:15,832
♪ Well, maybe, but
I got you pegged ♪
516
00:22:17,736 --> 00:22:19,403
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
517
00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:23,740
♪ With those tossed
salads and scrambled eggs ♪
518
00:22:23,809 --> 00:22:25,442
♪ They're callin' again. ♪
519
00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:27,210
Good night!